Scandal of (almost) harmless animals being hunted for fur

It’s hard to believe that in the 21st century there are people who still consider it is acceptable to wear other people’s pets. But pop into any high street fashion store and you’re sure to find racks of coats, boots, bags and accessories made of or trimmed with fur. Faux fur

Barely heard of twenty years ago, the faux was once one of Britain’s most abundant creatures, leading a harmless happy life bounding around meadows, chasing badgers and experimenting with hallucinogenic root vegetables. But just two decades later it has been hunted to near extinction, just to provide cheap accessories for selfish fashionistas

The GTG thinks it is time for this aberrant practice to stop. That’s why we are running a National appeal to save Britain’s faux!

Health and Safety Warning:

Although we’re sure you will be outraged by the man-inflicted suffering on these adorable creatures, please don’t be tempted to try and rescue a faux by yourself

When cornered and frightened the normally placid creature turns into a ferocious predator: they have been known to leap as far as fifteen feet in a single bound, before fixing their teeth in a death-lock into the neck of their victim, who invariably suffers a prolonged and agonising death

So please leave the rescuing to trained professionals!

But you can help right now by sending us your money!

A mere £10 will buy a bag full of tasty class-c treats, guaranteed to make a faux happy

A modest £100 will pay for counseling and anger management therapy for newly rescued faux

A generous £1,000 will make a useful contribution to funding a Mediterranean-based yacht to provide rest and recuperation getaways for traumatised faux, under the watchful care of the GTG’s editorial staff

So don’t delay, save a Faux today!

(PS. no Euros or carrots please)