China Buys Control of Eurozone

Eurozone Crisis

China Acquires Controlling Stake in Eurozone

Debt-for-Equity Swap nets Beijing 160 seats in the European Parliament, 3 Permanent Commissioner posts and a 130-mile stretch of the Cote d’Azur

World’s Leading Manufacturer couldn’t afford to let it’s biggest customer go bust

Ireland, Portugal, Greece might be sold to Qatar

Article originally published in GTG Dec 2010

Brussels, Fri Nov 20th:
In a dramatic move the Chinese Government has come to the rescue of the Eurozone

After intensive secret negotiations the World’s largest manufacturing nation is to convert 500 billion Euros worth of Eurozone bonds into direct equity in the EU

The deal saves the Euro, but in exchange Beijing will be able to appoint 160 Euro MPs along with 3 permanent EU Commissioners representing Human Rights, International Trade and Defence. In addition they will gain sovereignty over a 130 mile stretch of the the Cote d’Azur which they plan to develop into a naval base and holiday resort for Communist Party Officials.

In reality both parties had little choice. The Eurozone for it’s part has maxed-out its credit cards, whilst China was faced with its biggest single customer going bust.

Non-core Assets – Greece, Ireland and Portugal – are likely to be sold to help finance the deal and to reduce the region’s still-excessive debts. Interested parties include Qatar, which is looking for somewhere hospitable to host the 2022 World Cup, and several Russian and Central-Asian billionaires, who are always looking for somewhere convivial to launder other people’s money.

For background information on the limited choices available to China, read our in-depth analysis in Econofog