Sex and the Chippy

A modern girl’s guide to life, love and romance in Grey Town

Cheap Food, Quality Friends

Originally published GTG April 2009

Slappertini

The Battered Pikey, Friday 20th Feb:

Bleedin ell I was avin a real rough night at the chippy. Me and the girls went out on Thursday and we’d got proper bladdered on our favorite drinks: Slappertinis, WKDs and lager. Friday woz my first day on the job and my ed hurt like nothin else, and it was late like. I was gettin real frustrated too cos I aint seen none of my men for ages.

Then Duane, my main man, come in with his new boss Don Blagger. Mr B owns the scrap yard and he’s making tons of dosh from some old French ship or something. Anyow, Duane was pissed and said he wanted to take me up The Back Passage, which I thought was real romantic, but I said I didn’t fancy a curry so they ad chips.

Then before we could even get started Den, my boss, said he ad to take his dog for a walk and was shuttin the shop so we ad to go. So we was like walkin to the bus stop and I could see they was gettin fidgety. I was ungry too. Duane offered me his saveloy, but it was cold and limp and didnt do nuffin for me. Then Mr B insisted I ave some of his sausage, but that was all battered and greasy so I couldn’t hack that neether. They was moaning they adn’t ad enough so I says they could share my plaice, one at a time mind you, but they moaned it smelled too fishy! What do they expect, I said, its bin cooking all day!

Anyow, so I sneaked em back to the Chippy and give em some more of what they wanted on the kitchen table. We was all well stuffed! Everyone was appy.

A girl can count on er friends in Grey Town!

See ya!
Stace 🙂