Grey Town Blitz

Please Sir!

How do you spell Scumbags?

Class of 2011 Fails Citizenship Test

(Originally published in the May – August 2011 Edition of the GTG)

Grey Town, Mon-Tues Aug 8-9th:

Hoards of feral brats last night rampaged through Grey Town and other British towns & boroughs smashing windows, looting, torching buildings, cars and intimidating police and residents

Experts (as they do) offer several explanations for the yobs’ actions: pent up anger and tension exploding as a result some collective angst over a guy they probably couldn’t name getting shot in north London? Or perhaps they are just bored because the poor hapless things don’t have jobs and are not taken seriously by the rest of society? Or wanton ‘copycat’ lawlessness ‘because they can’? Probably

Profiling

Whatever. Fortunately for the cash-strapped police it shouldn’t be necessary to employ expensive FBI-style Psychological Profiling methods to track down the likely culprits because they left many useful clues to their identity: they wore hoodies and used bikes as weapons; they targeted JD-Sports, mobile phone retailers, TV and computer stores, Iceland(!), and Lidl(!!) Many brazenly went about their crimes with faces uncovered in front of Grey Town’s myriad CCTV cameras. And last but not lest they kindly recorded an audit trail of their exploits by using Blackberry Messenger & Twitter to organize themselves and Facebook and YouTube to post their trophy pics and videos

Clearly from the shallow end of the gene pool.